Tepic Harlequin: we gonna learn how ter talk proper?
Toshiha とし葉: Thank you so much for your support!
Toshiha とし葉: “Oh, yes–don’t pronounce the e in scones! It’s the King’s English now!” she jokes.
Ceejay Writer grins.
Rory Torrance waves at CJ and Liz
Liz Wilner: hi Rory!
Liz Wilner: hi everyone!
Rory Torrance: ^^
Ceejay Writer: Oh, Toshiha, don’t forget a tip jar. Everything else looks magnificent!
Liz Wilner: I sent you one you can use, Toshiha
Liz Wilner: customize as you wish 🙂
Toshiha とし葉: “Ah, thank you, I should have asked ahead of time if it was proper!”
Ceejay Writer: Ah! I see it now. Perfection.
Liz Wilner: yes…presenters may put out tip jars 🙂
Toshiha とし葉: “Dear guests, thank you so much for coming today to this discourse. I’m honored you took the time out of your day to attend.
Ceejay Writer: Encouraged to do so, even.
Oriella Charik: Ah – tea
Toshiha とし葉: (Welcome, Jer, Wildstar Beaumont sama!)
Jer: (Thank you!)
Ceejay Writer: Let me post a quick round of opening announcements and then you can get going!
Liz Wilner: hi Wild 🙂
Wildstar Beaumont: hello everyone
Solene Kimono: konnichiwa jer-sama!
Ceejay Writer: Sera Puchkina is the R.F. Burton Library’s librarian, and a brave soul indeed for giving the Salon free rein of the first floor. It would be a nicety to show your support by dropping a little something in the library’s donation box near the front door.
I encourage you to join the inworld Aether Salon group, for reminders of upcoming salons.
https://world.secondlife.com/group/cbdd8d19-4c68-802c-8523-a95ea4181afc
Toshiha とし葉 smiles.
Jer: Konnichiwa, Soleme-sama!
Wildstar Beaumont: greetings Lady Toshiha 🙂
Ceejay Writer: You are also welcome to join my Ceejaytopia group for author, writing, and other literary event notices: Ceejaytopia
https://world.secondlife.com/group/d85c42ac-0831-7281-abe6-79f5ce24fc92
The transcript of today’s salon will be posted on the website: https://aethersalonhome.wordpress.com The website’s front page also has links to join our Discord group, an application to be a salon presenter, and other handy links.
Ceejay Writer: Today’s speaker is no stranger to Salon. Her past presentations have been so educational and intriguing, and are posted at the website.
Ceejay Writer: Please welcome Toshiha Magic! The room is yours, my dear.
Tepic Harlequin: cor! all of it?
Toshiha とし葉: “Thank you so very much for that introduction, Ceejay san!”
Ceejay Writer smiles
Toshiha とし葉: Please allow me to also introduce myself shortly. I am a geisha in SL, and propriety and etiquette rules everything I do. Today, however, the focus of this talk is not on anything Japanese related as my previous salon talks, but rather I will be going over etiquette that is applicable to all SL citizens.
Ceejay Writer: Even urchins.
Liz Wilner: lol
Tepic Harlequin scowls
Oriella Charik: and tinies
Toshiha とし葉: Etiquette has always fascinated me, and I’m personally convinced we can’t live without a little in our lives.
Toshiha とし葉: When one hears the word ‘etiquette’, one may initially think of a fancy afternoon tea taking place in a palace or château between a rich host and her visitors. How to put your napkin on your lap, to put cream or jam on the scone first–who needs to know?
Toshiha とし葉: (Well, if you’re role-playing in Victorian England, you surely know; but let us not get sidetracked!)
Ceejay Writer: (jam before cream!)
Toshiha とし葉: The average person’s thoughts might veer to how we are no longer such a structured society separated so clearly by class and outdated decorum, so what do we need etiquette for?
Rory Torrance: Civilization! What a jolly idea.
Toshiha とし葉: Etiquette is all about showing respect to others. Decorum and propriety exist to help us to build a cohesive social structure, diplomatic relations, and business relationships.
Wildstar Beaumont: LOL @ Rory
Tepic Harlequin: yep, like not eattin someone once yer been formally introduced!
Toshiha とし葉: Keeping etiquette in mind won’t just help you professionally, but personally, too. When you show respect to others, they’ll be far more willing to talk with you in the future.
Toshiha とし葉: Etiquette isn’t simply something you learn; it’s a practice that you continually do. Simply knowing particular manners and principles doesn’t make you a polite person; it’s only by consistently using the manners and principles together that you become gracious and are recognized as such.
Toshiha とし葉: Ultimately, it is in our explicit behavior with others, often through our manners, that people recognize the values and principles that motivate us. Our manners function like a shorthand expression of our values. When you are on time, for example, you demonstrate that you value respect and consideration and keeping your word, as well as other people’s time.
Rory Torrance: Here, here!
Toshiha とし葉: Now if you’re wondering what the difference is between manners and etiquette is, they go hand in hand, and one really cannot be talked about without the other. Manners are the guiding principles of putting people at their ease, or not embarrassing others, and of generally putting yourself second. Good manners are selfless, not selfish.
Toshiha とし葉: All cultures around the world believe in the importance of good manners. Etiquette, on the other hand, is a set of rules by which a society lives. How you become well-mannered is, for the most part, by following the rules of etiquette.
Toshiha とし葉: There are times when the rules will not be appropriate, and when actually the politest thing is to do the opposite of what the ‘rulebook’ says–though the correct etiquette is often exactly that–correct!
Toshiha とし葉: To be the most well-mannered person in the room, you need to know the rules of etiquette and have the confidence to break those rules at the appropriate moment.
Ceejay Writer: Sounds like common sense is important.
Rory Torrance: Excellent points.
Tepic Harlequin: bloomin rare, common sense…
Toshiha とし葉: I will segue a moment here to mention a perfect example of this happens in the movie ‘The Princess Diaries,’ when the main character accidentally puts too much frozen dessert in her mouth, not realizing how cold it is. Seeing her reaction, the people next to her do the same thing, all causing a commotion so the main character doesn’t feel bad about breaking the etiquette by herself!
Liz Wilner: laughs
Ceejay Writer: Awwww. 🙂
Toshiha とし葉: I should point out that etiquette has become a loaded word, and some find it off-putting. It may be hard for someone who’s had a far-from-royal upbringing to think they need to observe the rules of etiquette. But every situation involves a code of behavior, whether people like it or not.
Toshiha とし葉: It’s not just about who is presented to whom at court; it’s how to handle break-ups with grace and to let someone know you’re still planning to attend their event the day before. So long as humans interact with each other, there will be the need for etiquette and manners.
Toshiha とし葉: In Second Life, our interactions with other can make or break our experience here, and when we’re all respectful to those around is, we make it a better place for everyone, including ourselves.
Toshiha とし葉: Now, after that long introduction, let me go into our main topic–why etiquette is important for us people who live in a virtual world. Today I want to give tips on what you can do to improve your SL relations via great manners and communication.
Toshiha とし葉: For us, in Second Life, there is no use in going over how to unfold your napkin and set it on your lap at afternoon tea (unless you’re roleplaying, of course). No, here, the main asset we have is our skill in communication. Second Life residents thrive in a unique virtual space where written communication is the main way by which people have to inform their first impressions of you (or par with, or perhaps more than avatar appearance).
Toshiha とし葉: First impressions are very important to your every day life. They are the basis of how relationships start and how you are seen by other people. All people will form opinions about others based on first impressions. And whether you remember someone or not–they will remember you, and the impression you gave them.
Ceejay Writer nods. First words are a big deal here.
Liz Wilner: nods
Toshiha とし葉: As an entertainer, I try to keep in mind that people might not remember the dance I performed or what I wore, even though a lot of choice and preparation goes into such things, but they will for sure remember how I made them feel. This forms of the basis of how I conduct myself–my personal rules of etiquette that inform my manners.
Jer nods
Toshiha とし葉: In that, I want to begin with the most basic of communication etiquette–greetings.
Toshiha とし葉: A century ago, there was much focus on who was being introduced to whom, in what order, when they should be introduced, how to properly say their name and title, and which gesture was appropriate. Today we focus more on encouraging people to actually make introductions, and to communicate clearly and respectfully while doing so.
Toshiha とし葉: Greetings have never been simpler, yet ironically they’re hard to do for many without an informed structure!
Toshiha とし葉: Importantly, acknowledging those around us with even the slightest greeting is a small but very important part of etiquette. It is the starting point of communication, and lets others know you see them. A simple greeting is polite–and often expected.
Toshiha とし葉: In the words of Emily Post’s Etiquette, Centennial Edition, (she was an American author, novelist, and socialite famous for writing about etiquette): “Without greetings, we’re just individuals moving around one another in close proximity. A greeting is a beginning, an entrance into a shared space and conversation–or at least the potential for one.
Ceejay Writer: I quite like that quote.
Toshiha とし葉: We show respect when we acknowledge one another’s existence. With a greeting, we can make someone’s day brighter. A greeting costs us nothing and is easy to deliver. In days of old, greetings were used to indicate that we meant no harm. In today’s world, where we can often feel divided from and attacked by those around us, the power of a smile and eye contact can be transformative.
Liz Wilner: smiles
Toshiha とし葉: It’s a simple point of etiquette, but an essential one: greet the people you come into contact with throughout your day. No one is above giving a greeting, and no one is below receiving one.”
Toshiha とし葉: I will say here that a greeting is important no matter how long you’ve known a person. Ever doing my best to be polite and agreeable, I never let on how, for example, a particular person’s lack of greeting affected me–at least not for the first five years of knowing a person, in one particular instance.
Liz Wilner: 5 years!
Liz Wilner: goodness
Toshiha とし葉: But this is in bad form. One should always greet another, and it doesn’t have to be a, “Good morning, _!” you can just say, “Hey.” Or, “Heya, we haven’t talked in a while, how are you?”
Ceejay Writer: Wow, that’s … yeah.
Oriella Charik: hi hi
Toshiha とし葉: Any acknowledgment of the other person, instead of just launching into whatever is on your mind, is always beginning a conversation on the right foot. It will be appreciated no matter the situation.
Toshiha とし葉: There is a good conversational tip I can give here too; try to recall what you last talked about. Was your friend sick the last time you talked to them? Did your coworker just return from a trip? Checking in is a great way to start a conversation, and let’s the other person know you remembered your last conversation.
Jer nods and smiles
Toshiha とし葉: The second part of this is also relevant to the person I mentioned before. They rarely asked me how I was or “How’s it going?”, and if they did happen to ask, they never actually acknowledged my answer. Instead, they would launch into what they were doing and what was going on with them, even if my short replies of “Ah” and “I see” were meant to hint I wasn’t enjoying the conversation much at all, nor could I really respond to the topic at hand in any meaningful way..
Ceejay Writer: How awkward for you.
Toshiha とし葉: This is a good example of conversation hogging, and I’m sure we all have known or do know someone who does this on a consistent basis, without ever checking in with how you’re doing, or showing interest in things you talk about. This forms an impression, and a person may consciously or even unconsciously avoid the speaker because of it.
Toshiha とし葉: Be sure in the midst of a conversation with others, that it is indeed a conversation and not a diatribe. If you find someone you’re talking to is doing this, it’s possible they’re just busy, and it would be good to ask. Pivoting the conversation by asking their thoughts, veering to a different topic or asking what may be going on with them would all be advisable.
Toshiha とし葉: Just remember to “Contribute to a conversation, but don’t hog it by going on and on about something.”
Jer nods in agreement
Ceejay Writer nods, hoping these words are reverberating around the grid.
Toshiha とし葉: Another time, I invited someone to see a place I had set up since I knew this person was interested in Japanese martial arts. I teleported him in, and made a light joke about his clothes because we happened to be wearing the same pattern. Instead of acknowledging this fact or the quip, he focused only on himself and how long it’d been since he worn kimono. It then further took ten minutes, and prompts from me, for him to finally acknowledge the space we were in–the reason I had teleported him at all!
Wildstar Beaumont waves at Symeon
Liz Wilner: nods
Liz Wilner: hi Symeon 🙂
Tepic Harlequin: ello Symeon!
Ceejay Writer: You have a lot of patience!
Toshiha とし葉: I won’t get into the rest of it, as I’m sure you get the point. I was left with feelings of frustration, because I had become aware this was a pattern of behavior that was typical over a long period of time. I did, later, him how I felt–because opening up is another important part of communication.
Symeon Siamendes: Hi all
Jer waves and smiles at Symeon 🙂
Symeon Siamendes: Hi Lady Liz Admiral Wild and Master Tepic
Toshiha とし葉: (Hello and welcome!)
Liz Wilner: perhaps he has ADHD? or is socially awkward?
Symeon Siamendes: Hi Lord Jer
Toshiha とし葉: All the more reason to learn mindfulness — which is built through following etiquette. 🙂
Jer: Hello, Symeon! ^^
Toshiha とし葉: Acknowledging what someone said, via a comment or question, is a great way to let your fellow conversationalist know they were heard. Be sure to do so before introducing a new topic or simply going on about something you’re wanting talking about.
Tepic Harlequin: errr…. quite a high percentage of SL people are socially awkward or neurodiverse in some way, which is why many of us are here 🙂
Toshiha とし葉: Yes, I definitely have come to realize that. In truth, it’s why I have started these talks–I have been told that having a structured environment to learn in is helpful!
Toshiha とし葉: Just remember, if you’ve spent a while talking about something relevant to you, such as an activity you like or something you did recently, but your listener has fallen silent or is giving very short replies, you can encourage the conversation to keep going by asking the other person what they might think or like in relation to the subject you were just talking about.
Toshiha とし葉: Greeting, and not conversation hogging, are good practices not just for Second Life, but real life, too. However, my next points are going to be more Second Life focused, and will improve everyone’s experience.
Toshiha とし葉: Firstly, when we write, whether to a person or in group or chat notices, one should always aim to use proper punctuation and capitalization, as it would show a message was carefully and thoughtfully written, and not rushed. People will respond more positively to well written messages. If one knows how to read–specifically, things like news articles or published books or papers, then one knows how to write, because you see and read examples of proper English all the time. Not doing it properly shows carelessness.
Toshiha とし葉: Now, of course, there is an exception here if English is not one’s first language; there is a large difference in not knowing tense or form because of grammar, versus when to use a period or comma if one is a native English writer. If English is your first language, one should endeavor to improve themselves and begin practicing proper writing.
Toshiha とし葉: There are several reasons for this. First and foremost, in SL we meet people from all over the world, and I always meet and speak with people for whom English is a second language. If I didn’t write correct English, there would be unnecessary confusion, miscommunication and misunderstandings.
Shion 紫苑 nods
Toshiha とし葉: Likely, they wouldn’t want to talk to me again because I’m making it hard to understand. It also does not show my listener any consideration for the potential language barrier. (This also means avoiding using too many English idioms, too).
GC Continental feels sooo guilty about that last one..
Toshiha とし葉: hehe
Toshiha とし葉: This goes for people who write English as a first, second or even third language. Always endeavor to do your best, because it facilitates good communication, and avoids any misunderstandings or giving your reader a headache. It shows courtesy, consideration and thoughtfulness, and people always appreciate each.
Tepic Harlequin: blimey! i’m in trouble! hehehehe
Ceejay Writer: There’s going to be a subset of SL folks who will push back on the grammar and writing – it’s just another texting app to them.
Toshiha とし葉 ‘s eye twitches slightly.
Liz Wilner: true
Oriella Charik: ESL = English as a Second Language.
Ceejay Writer twitches in tune with Toshiha
Toshiha とし葉: Speaking of considerations, we surely all attend events in Second Life. Small ones like talks such as this, or larger, elaborate productions of entertainment. When I hold events myself, they’re planned days, weeks or even months in advance. Notices and invites should be carefully considered and planned to make it as easy as possible for potential attendees to attend.
Toshiha とし葉: Entertainers know well that on the day of the event, there is still a lot to do, things that must be done only in the last hour or so before the event. Now some people will see the last notices for such events go out–whether or not there were previous notices announcing them–and, deciding they do want to attend, will message the performer about a teleport.
Toshiha とし葉: Considering everything they have done already, instead of showing enthusiasm to the performer, this is actually a bit inconsiderate, at best. With all of the preparation they’ve already done, not to mention assuring everything is going to go off without any issues, the performer or presenter is busy, mentally and physically. An IM will not only be very distracting in the last critical moments before an event, but may come across as just rude.
Liz Wilner: nod nod
Jer: Oh true…
Toshiha とし葉: Further, the host made the effort of sending out group notices, and/or chat notices, likely with an LM, and if these are ignored, it shows a lack of consideration on multiple fronts for the host It is also most likely the case that the host is in an area–such as a stage or setup area–that guests are never meant to be on or in, and thus sending a TP is not possible. Further, making your host take their time to copy the SURL just for you is just more work on their part they don’t need to be doing on top of everything else.
Ceejay Writer: SO true. I remember my performing days. Sometimes people would unexpectedly TP me and I’d accidentally click it. Argh.
SvargaFan: Good evening ladies and gentlemen – please excuse my tardiness
Toshiha とし葉: (Welcome, please join us!)
Toshiha とし葉: To be the best guest for your host, please don’t ask for a TP unless the host specifically said it was preferred to do so. Actually, it’s also very good form to not IM your host but stick to local chat instead. No doubt they have many IMs going on already that must keep their attention, or they must strictly pay attention to local chat. Only talk to them in IM if they message you first, and this will be very much appreciated by your host.
Liz Wilner: hello, Svarga!
Ceejay Writer smiles at SvargaFan
Toshiha とし葉: There are also tips here for people hosting events too. No doubt you want as many people as possible to show up to your event, however, if you only contact people to come to your events and never at any other time, they might be much less likely to want to come. This, also, doesn’t show any consideration for your potential guest to be seen as anything more than just another person at their event.
Toshiha とし葉: Another good host tip is to greet each guest individually, by name, if appropriate to that event. It’s also great manners to introduce your guests to each other and get the conversation going!
Ceejay Writer: Great advice. scribbles notes furiously
Jer: Yes this is great advice haha
Toshiha とし葉: Oh, and I’ll take the opportunity here to mention a great tip, too — if you love hosting events, take advantage of Notes in people’s profile so you can jot down how you met them and briefly waht you’ve talked about before!
Liz Wilner: I always greet every guest at my events
Toshiha とし葉: what**
Ceejay Writer: I love that Notes field! I usually make a quick note of where/how I meet someone.
Toshiha とし葉: Yes, it’s fantastic! 😀
Jer: I really should make more use of that ^^;
Toshiha とし葉: (I also add dates 😉 )
Ceejay Writer: My memory is, well… in need of notes.
Toshiha とし葉: And, if you’re hosting an event that involves listening to or watching media of some sort, consideration of your guests needs can also be addressed by giving a simple direction of whether they should have streaming, media or local sounds enabled, making the experience much more pleasant!
Toshiha とし葉: There is another great thing you can do as a guest at an event too, especially if you attend a heavy event such as a dance show or stage production. Everyone wishes to look at the stage and be immersed in the show, so to be a great guest, it’s advised to remove anything that makes noise, and remove anything animesh or that makes particles. It helps fight lag and creates a better, less distracting experience for everyone.
Toshiha とし葉 glances off to the side a moment as she remembers a heavy breather at her last major event. ^^” (Who even wears a breathing hud? Whyyyy? XD)
Ceejay Writer: I have a special outfit, have had it for years, it’s all system clothing. It’s still rather cute, I think, and perfect for huge events.
Ceejay Writer: Breathing HUD? Kids today, I swear.
Liz Wilner: a heavy breather!! good heavens…how rude
Tepic Harlequin: oy!
Jer chuckles under my breath
Toshiha とし葉: Speaking of events, have you ever tried to hold a conversation in local chat and you just get lost because there are so many people speaking? Well, there is a great trick you can do that might help you keep track of the conversation, at least in the Firestorm viewer. If you go to Preference –> Colors, you can chose various colors for chat messages in local; your friends can be one color, strangers another, and your text a third color. There are many more options too.
Ceejay Writer: I’ve never tried color coding! Good idea.
Toshiha とし葉: Keeping your text a different color, in the least, can also help you to quickly process where you last spoke and left off in a conversation, making it easier to catch up.
Liz Wilner: I use it…very helpful
Jer: … I did not know of this feature
Toshiha とし葉: 😀
Jer is amazed
Tepic Harlequin: turn any enemy’s text a mid grey…..
Liz Wilner: lol Tepic
Toshiha とし葉 giggles
Ceejay Writer: Enemy = dark black, just like the chatbox. 😉
Toshiha とし葉: What if someone addressed you but you completely missed it? There is another nice trick you can do for this! You can set “keyword alerts” (Preferences –> Chat –> Keyword Alerts tab). For example, my name and titles are all set as keywords and show up a bright green color in local chat, and a cute bell sound plays, so I’m sure not to miss it if someone addressed me. This is very useful when hosting events such as parties!
Ceejay Writer: Gasp! That’s a gamechanger.
Jer: Isn’t it? I can’t live without it now.
Ceejay Writer: I feel like a newbie all over again!
Toshiha とし葉: 🙂
Toshiha とし葉: Now, let’s say you’re at an event or just wandering SL by yourself, and you meet someone new and decide to talk to them. I cannot stress this next point enough: Second Life is not social media.
Toshiha とし葉: What do I mean by that? I will give you an example. Once someone was visiting the sim I work on, so I made sure to approach them and give them a welcome, to be a pleasant and welcoming host, and to show my appreciation for them looking around. Then the oddest thing happened–they said they really couldn’t use SL a lot, because they had to take care of their very sick grandmother and had no time to be around.
Ceejay Writer: TMI.
Liz Wilner: very…but aww
Toshiha とし葉: It left me, the listener, in an awkward position. While I understood this person was possibly looking for sympathy, I was a total stranger; they were putting the burden of response on me. Trauma dumping and over-sharing is never appropriate with people you don’t know. Friends or family are another matter, but please realize real life troubles are very personal matters, and most strangers don’t have any connection to you, leaving them feeling awkward because they were just trying to be nice, and now they’re going to feel stuck having to listen to someone trauma dump.
Ceejay Writer sighs.
Ceejay Writer: This happens far too often, I fear.
Shion 紫苑: I agree ^^;
Toshiha とし葉: If you need to talk to someone, reach out to a friend or family member or a professional whose job it is to help you. I find I am much less inclined to want to interact with someone who immediately tells me their real life problems upon first meeting, because it gives me the first impression that that is all they will ever talk about. If this happens to you as a listener, tell them they need to talk to someone who can help them.
Liz Wilner: I just say…”I’m very sorry to hear that”
Liz Wilner: and move on
Toshiha とし葉: nods!
Toshiha とし葉: I wish I could tell people who do this, “Other people do not exist to validate what’s going on with you, especially complete strangers.” But that would not be nice to do, either. Express sympathy, but move the conversation along. Try not to “info dump” on others–or in the least, ask first. Many times in SL (and even RL!), you might interact with people who treat you like you’re just there to listen to their problems and what they have to say, rather than having a real conversation with you. No one likes hanging out with or speaking with people who do this. “Misery loves company,” but don’t do it, no matter how tempting.
Liz Wilner: happens to me in elevators…for some reason…I get people’s life stories…lol
Toshiha とし葉: “It’s a trap!”
Liz Wilner: Wild can attest to this
Toshiha とし葉: In the topic of exploring, going to new places and meeting new people, it is also good to be aware of your surroundings. Since SL serves different communities and purposes, it’s important to note if a sim you’re visiting is rated General, Moderate or Adult. No one wants to be booted from a sim because they showed up in an adult outfit on an M rated sim!
Oriella Charik: and so can I LIz
Ceejay Writer: Elevators are for pitching book, not therapy sessions!
Liz Wilner: yes…you too Ori!
Toshiha とし葉: Now if you’re the type of person who might still struggle with how to start up a conversation, and you find yourself at an event or other such crowded space, there are two great conversation starters. The first is to ask someone else how they know the host, and you can share how you know them. In this way, you can find some common ground!
Toshiha とし葉: Secondly, take a note of the place you’ve been invited to, especially if your host decorated or built it themselves. Commenting on what you’re seeing will always be appreciated. Finally, before you leave an event, be sure to thank the host for inviting you (even if it wasn’t a personal invite). You’ll be remembered for your consideration and kindness.
Liz Wilner: nods
Toshiha とし葉: And, for us Second Lifers, we have an advantage over RL–we can take a peek at someone’s profile and find common ground there, too! Perhaps there is something there you find funny or you agree with, and they’d surely love to know.
Ceejay Writer: As much as I love to recommend Babbage locations for socializing, this sort of practice works VERY WELL at the Blarney Stone pub.
Toshiha とし葉: Also, keep in mind tone can easily be lost in written communication because we are missing other cues we would otherwise have–and people will always assign you a ‘voice’ in SL, we can’t help it. I promise I’m being nice right now, for example. laughs Using emojis, kaomoji, and/or choosing words carefully or emoting will help to form that voice and create an impression of you, so don’t be shy about smiling sometimes! 😉
Jer nods 🙂
Shion 紫苑 smiles shyly… get it?
Toshiha とし葉: hehe
Toshiha とし葉: Finally, if you’re in the middle of a great conversation and find you must leave your keyboard, be sure not to leave your compatriot hanging without a word, or waiting for you too much if you said “brb” where you should have said “afk, not sure how long.” I have had many a person tell me “brb” only to disappear for 10 or 20 minutes, or even longer (Tip: a ‘brb’ should be under 5 minutes).
Toshiha とし葉: Though, that is better than those who go afk without telling me at all, in the middle of a conversation. In IM or local chat, it’s just not a polite thing to do, even if you haven’t entered any chat in the last few minutes. Please let the other person know.
Jer: Oop I’m guilty of that sometimes ^^;
Toshiha とし葉 giggles
Ceejay Writer: And please don’t say you’re on a bio break, gah.
Oriella Charik: “brb glass empty”
Liz Wilner: oh lordy no…way TMI
Liz Wilner: LOL
Ceejay Writer: “brb Dog needs out” is fine.
Wildstar Beaumont: people will assume that anyway, Ceejay
Ceejay Writer: I always mention tea or the cat.
Toshiha とし葉: With friends one can be more understanding 🙂 Context also greatly matters, if a conversation is super casual in IM vs if you’re actually at an event together. 🙂
Liz Wilner: I actually know someone in SL who says all about the bio break
Liz Wilner: sighs
Ceejay Writer: I do too, Liz.
Rory Torrance: “Barbarian horde at the barricades!”
Tepic Harlequin: errrr… so if yer say yer going fer tea or ter feed the cat, yer actually going ter… ? 😉
Jer stifles a laugh
Shion 紫苑: Let’s imagine they’re studying biology, hehe
Ceejay Writer: Rory, that’s informative and spelled correctly. Win!
Toshiha とし葉: There is a wonderful thing you can do to avoid both of these things, especially if you had to leave your computer quickly–because let’s face it, RL happens! Take advantage of gestures. When I hit F8 on my keyboard for example, a, “excuse me” sound plays, and text goes into local chat; ” Excuse me just a moment, please. (Brb)”. All of that with just 1 keystroke! Consider setting up your own, perhaps letting the other person know, “Had to leave my keyboard; I will be back as soon as possible!”
Ceejay Writer: Tepic! Assume the nicest reason possible, always.
Tepic Harlequin: 🙂
Toshiha とし葉: In conclusion, I can say for certain that people, for the most part, mean well. None of us wish to offend or come across as rude, so there are little pointers we can keep in mind that will help us to communicate well, creating a kind and considerate environment for everyone to enjoy.
Ceejay Writer: Text is part of the world we all build together here. Why not make it nice?
Liz Wilner: well said, Ceejay!
Ceejay Writer: 😀
Toshiha とし葉: Etiquette and manners help to strengthen relationships when respect is shown for others. It also helps you grow as a person, becoming more aware of your surroundings and to whom you are speaking. In that sense, you also build up appreciation for the interactions you have, and each one becomes a little more special, bringing everyone involved closer together. Whether the relationships are personal or professional, having a good basis of communication will strengthen them.
Ceejay Writer: We build with prims, and mesh, and textures, and words.
Tip Jar for Off-Sim Performances: Thanks For Your Tip!
Toshiha とし葉: It is my hope to hold many more talks about this topic, as today was but an introduction, and future discourse that I plan on hosting will focus more sharply on building communication skills that are sure to benefit people in both SL and RL.
Solene Kimono: 🙂
Mid: nods
Toshiha とし葉: If you’re interested in those, I encourage you to join my Academy of Etiquette. As the name implies, it is an academy of communication & etiquette. The mission is to facilitate Residents’ ability to communicate with each other, focusing on consideration, manners and how to maintain conversations in any setting. We also can and will teach proper decorum in specific situations upon request, including what to wear, how to behave and more.
Ceejay Writer: I learns so many little tips and tricks today. I definitely want to learn more and look forward to that.
Toshiha とし葉: Dear guests, once more, thank you so very much for coming to my talk today. I do hope it was enjoyable, enlightening and helpful, though I’m sure I could have said much more (but I don’t want to bore you to death or sound too preachy). And to Aether Salon and Ceejay Writer, I thank you so much for hosting me today; it was an honor and privilege to be here.
Liz Wilner: very well done presentation, Toshiha!
Tepic Harlequin: It has been interesting, thank you
Toshiha とし葉 bows respectfully.
Liz Wilner: ♪♫♥ Applauds!!! ♥♫♪
Oriella Charik: ♪♫♥ Applauds!!! ♥♫♪
Shion 紫苑: claps
GC Continental bows deeply.
Ceejay Writer: thank you for spending time helping us to have a better Second Life!
KayCooper: Thank you Toshiha 🙂
Jer: Yes, that presentation was really informative, and well presented 🙂
Shion 紫苑: It was great, thank you Toshiha-kaasan 😀
Solene Kimono bows deeply.
GC Continental: Thank you for your time,Toshiha-sama
SvargaFan: Thank you most interesting
Toshiha とし葉: I am very grateful to each of you for attending!
Ceejay Writer: i’ll have this posted at the website as soon as possible. Give me a day or two.
Solene Kimono: ookini San dosu Toshiha-san
Rory Torrance: A pleasure to be present.
Toshiha とし葉: And thank you for any tips, they’re also greatly appreciated.
Ceejay Writer: I know I want to read back on many points made.
Tepic Harlequin: Do we have time for questions?
Symeon Siamendes: Arigatou gozaimasu Toshiha san
Toshiha とし葉 smiles kindly.
GC Continental: I didn’t want to interrupt the talk by donating while you were speaking!
Solene Kimono: wonderful!
Toshiha とし葉: Arigatou gozaimasu!
Ceejay Writer: Toshiha can have the library for as long as she is able to stay.
Tajima 但馬 bows with respect and applauds the speaker..”Arigatou Toshiha-sama!”
Toshiha とし葉: Aww thank you!
Liz Wilner: what is your question, Yepic?
Liz Wilner: *Tepic
Toshiha とし葉: Oh yes, I welcome any questions if there are any.
Solene Kimono: I hope there will be many more!
GC Continental: Where do we find this Academy of Etiquette?
Ceejay Writer: Incidentally, February, March and April are as of right now un-booked. If you want to speak on a topic you are passionate about, let me know!
Tepic Harlequin: Earlier in the talk, it was mentioned that using correct English was the most considerate thing to do, however in New Babbage, we do use light role play, and ‘incorrect’ English is a part of my character here, how do you view this?
Toshiha とし葉: “Ah, I don’t have a physical location yet. Instead, I plan to hold my next possible talk at the coffee shop in Hamamura, and other talks in other places!”
Ceejay Writer: Babbage urchins and their dialects! ❤
Tepic Harlequin: 🙂
Solene Kimono: oh the group joiner is under the tip jar!
Toshiha とし葉: “Tepic, I think RP rules take residence. Even in my own psuedo-RP as a geisha, we use common and basic Japanese words, such as ‘konnichiwa’, that guests can pick up on as they attend our events.”
Ceejay Writer: ( I have a salon presenter application for any interested parties. https://aethersalon.home.blog/application/ )
Toshiha とし葉: “I think in RP, creating the environment is important!”
Ceejay Writer: Ceejay, in years past in Babbage, occasionally roleplayed as tipsy-drunk on absinthe. *laughs, remembering her slurring*
Tepic Harlequin: Thank you, When I start a conversation with a newcommer, I do start as ‘Tepic’, but will adjust my language use if it’s clear things are being misunderstood
Shion 紫苑: I adjust my typing to each environment ^^
Toshiha とし葉: I think that’s great. You can always IM a person who doesn’t speak English as a first language too, and tell them what you’re doing, too. 🙂 They might say it’s just fine! 🙂
GC Continental: Slurring is just talking in cursive. It’s classy 🙂
Tepic Harlequin: Though creating havoc and missunderstandings though the use of language is quite fun 🙂
Solene Kimono: haha
Toshiha とし葉: “Who’s on first!”
Ceejay Writer: GC! Stealing that.
Liz Wilner: laughs
GC Continental: go ahead, I got it from a meme. from my feed to yours XD
Ceejay Writer: Thank you kindly!
Jer: Excuse me, everyone. Thank you for organizing this presentation, Toshiha! I can’t wait for the next one! 🙂
Toshiha とし葉: Thank you, Jer!
Toshiha とし葉 bows respectfully.
Jer bows respectfully.
Ceejay Writer: Yes! Toshiha, you know you are always welcome at Salon.
Liz Wilner: tc Jer 🙂
Mid: Thanks again, it was a great discussion where I learned a lot. Looking forward to attending others.
Solene Kimono: good evening Jer-sama
Shion 紫苑: Have a good day Jer-sama
Solene Kimono: Good evening Mid-sama
Ceejay Writer: I’m almost afraid to say that I’ll need to leave soon to feed the cat. BUT I REALLY WILL NEED TO FEED THE CAT.
Toshiha とし葉: “Thank you very much, everyone.”
Toshiha とし葉: hehehe
Tepic Harlequin: hehehehe
Jer: Take care, everyone 🙂 Have a good morning, afternoon, evening, whichever applies to you!
Liz Wilner: tc Mid 🙂
Ceejay Writer: This was delightful! Thank you all for coming.
Liz Wilner: thank you Toshiha!
Oriella Charik: Thank you, most instructive!
Shion 紫苑: Have a good day Ceejay-san xD Give the kitty lots of pets
GC Continental: I am impressed at how clear this was, and spotted several of my own mistakes in the process. Thank you, this was very informative:)
Liz Wilner: thank you Ceejay!
Toshiha とし葉: “GC sama, thank you, I’m glad to have helped!”
KayCooper: I must be returning to RL. Thank you Toshiha. Have a good evening everyone 🙂
Rory Torrance: And thank you, CeeJay, for organizing these informative events.
Solene Kimono: Toshiha is a great inspiration really
Ceejay Writer: My pleasure! I love salons!!!!
Toshiha とし葉: Iie, iie.
Toshiha とし葉: 🙂
Toshiha とし葉: “Ah, that’s very kind of you, Solene. I try!”
Tajima 但馬: Arigatou, Toshiha-san!
Solene Kimono: You achieve, i promise!
Liz Wilner: Have a wonderful evening everyone!
Symeon Siamendes: And you Lady Liz
Solene Kimono: Good evening thank you for having us!
Tepic Harlequin: well, got voles ter milk, see yer all!
Tajima 但馬: Well wishes to all!
Ceejay Writer: Take care all! Next time we meet, our conversations should be even more delightful.
Toshiha とし葉 will be sure to pick up her items later today, in order not to rush people now but also not wait too long to collect her many land impact items.
Wildstar Beaumont: thank you Lady Toshiha and thank you Ceejay
Wildstar Beaumont: good night everyone
Toshiha とし葉: later today* hehe
Shion 紫苑 bows respectfully.
Shion 紫苑: Thank you again for the salon Toshiha-kaasan ^^
Toshiha とし葉: I’m really honored you came, Shion chan 😀
Solene Kimono: wonderful work Toshiha-san and as usual a class packed with information!
Shion 紫苑: Aww no it’s my pleasure
Toshiha とし葉: Thank you Solene! I’m so glad you could make it!
Rory Torrance: Good evening all.
Solene Kimono: I had to!
Solene Kimono bows deeply.
Toshiha とし葉: Good evening, Rory.
GC Continental bows respectfully.
Toshiha とし葉: Oops, too fast for me!
Toshiha とし葉 bows respectfully.
Solene Kimono: Good evening everyone!
Toshiha とし葉: GC sama, please take care, thank you!
Shion 紫苑: I will see you all later, take care 😀
Shion 紫苑 bows respectfully.
Ceejay Writer: Off with me! Stay as long as you like, everyone!
GC Continental: Thank you, Toshiha!
Solene Kimono: goodnight Shion san!
Solene Kimono bows respectfully.
Aether Salon 