Edited Transcripts, Unedited Transcripts

Prongs! with the Citizens of New Babbage

[This transcript counts as both Edited and Unedited versions. There was no use editing out audience comments as the salon *was* audience comments. So I extra-tidied the raw chat and corrected some finger-tangle mistakes]

Graffiti Attack! The Aether Salon (photo by Baron Klaus Wulfenbach)

Baron Klaus Wulfenbach scrubs at one four-tine drawing with a handkerchief
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: At least it appears to be chalk.
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: shouts: FOUR FOUR GET IN THE THE DOOR!
Ceejay Writer: Give me a moment! I need to see what hooligans have done to the building (rez already!)
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: nothing! ignore it
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: it’s fine
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: just flowers

‘Just Flowers’ (photo by Baron Klaus Wulfenbach)

Ceejay Writer: Are they pink?
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: happy messages for dull idiots
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: you’d love it
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: You would see pink blobs, Fraulein.
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: i’m pretty sure she see’s pink elephants as it is
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach clicks his tongue at Bob.
Rory Torrance: The resolution is mighty slow today. Ms Writer.
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Herr Torrance, you are still a cloud to me.
Rory Torrance: You were a cloud to me for a good while!
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Hm, the caches have forgotten me.
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: I should probably ask the Clockwinder to add this parcel to the group ownership.
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Dratted permissions.
Ceejay Writer: Yes – I have Max’s craft gift giver to set out.

Max Graf’s Craft Gift (photo by Baron Klaus Wulfenbach)

Dreddpiratebob Streeter: everyone is a cloud to ceejay since she found that blue medicine at the back of the cabinet
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: How many need setting out?
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: IS THAT A SPOON?!
Ceejay Writer: I got it, over on the other side – just the one!
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: and some ungodly implement
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: There are three on the stage at the moment.
Ceejay Writer: Yeah, we can take away the front two now.
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: The one I was given did not seem to come with the sign.
Ceejay Writer: nod That’s the one I had yesterday too, I just got this new one from Max.
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Ah, scripted. Sehr gut.
Rory Torrance hums a few bars of “tine has come today”
Ceejay Writer: Hi Rory!
Rory Torrance: Hiya Ceejay!
Ceejay Writer: I’m rezzing VERY slowly, still trying to see stuff.
Elleon Bergamasco waves away some of the smoke…
Rory Torrance: i got here early just for the lag.
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Fraulein Bergamasco, what a pleasure!
Maxwell Graf: Good afternoon.
Rory Torrance: not smart, just psychic, haha
Ceejay Writer: I should have, ooofff this is much worse than I’ve had in a long time.
Sophie Cloud: Good afternoon
Elleon Bergamasco: Thank you, lovely to be here
Elleon Bergamasco: blame Bob…
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: oh no
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Herr Graf, I heard news of your move. Congratulations.
Maxwell Graf: Thank you kindly. It went very well.
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: I shall have to try to find time for a walk around, but not this week.
Ceejay Writer: And by ‘very well’ he means HOLY COW THAT WAS AWESOME
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Ja?
Elleon Bergamasco looks for prongs to poke Bob with
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: General, you are here, this is good.
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach smiles broadly
Mavromichali Szondi: Goot evenink Herr Baron
Rory Torrance: What ho, good Mister Underwood!
Sophie Cloud looks around and smiles
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Herr Underwood, Herr Mornington…
Vic Mornington: Evenin!
Ceejay Writer: Hey look, I can see people now!
Elleon Bergamasco: Hallo Victor, and Thumper
Vic Mornington: Elleon 😀
Rory Torrance: A miracle for Sister Ceejay!
Ceejay Writer: YAY!
Elleon Bergamasco passes some carrot greens over
Vic Mornington: 😀 awwwww
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Splendid, Fraulein.
Elleon Bergamasco: just in case
Ceejay Writer munches
Elleon Bergamasco: Mr Underwood, good afternoon
Fenella Baily: shouts: Hoofs! We’re off to Muddys
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: If needed, I have some Tiny-friendly seating I can put out.
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: hello everyone that has finally arrived. well done on finding the place you’ve been to loads of times
Vic Mornington: shouts: Ok!
Mavromichali Szondi pulls out a fork and counts 4 tines
Elleon Bergamasco: my first time here with the comfy seating, well done!
Ceejay Writer: I sneak in here and nap in those chairs sometimes.
Elleon Bergamasco: not that the old chairs weren’t comfortable…
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: The Gräfin is excellent at sourcing furnishings.
Elleon Bergamasco blinks at Bobs sign “Is that written with…. dirt?”

Bob’s Sign (photo by Baron Klaus Wulfenbach)

Wildstar Beaumont: greetings everyone
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Hallo, Admiral.
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: probably?
Maxwell Graf: I seem to be greatly mistaken. I thought the salon meant that I could come and have a schvitz.
Ceejay Writer: I hope it’s just dirt.
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: depends what you call dirt
Mavromichali Szondi: >.>
Elleon Bergamasco: “for prong” what?
Ceejay Writer: Salon is usually a very genteel event, Max. I stress the word USUALLY
Maxwell Graf: Mr Beaumont, nice to see you.
Mavromichali Szondi: Does ve need to call in a hazmat clenk?
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: for. not three
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: can’t you read?
Wildstar Beaumont: hi Max 🙂
Vic Mornington chuckles
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Schvitz all you like, but put a towel on the chair first.
Elleon Bergamasco: yes, that why I wanted to know what you want the prongs for…
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: sticking in stuff
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: durrr
Rory Torrance: press button for prong. oh, what could go wrong?
Maxwell Graf: Point of order, I submit for perusal my entry to this debating of tines and prongs and such.
Elleon Bergamasco: Oh right… likely you burnt down the school before you learned to spell “Four”
Ceejay Writer: (If someone with a good view of the various graffitis could get pictures, I’d love that. I can’t seem to get my lens cap off)
Mavromichali Szondi: Hallo Jorge
Maxwell Graf: please feel free to click the display and get the set which I have provided.

Display Sign by Max Graf

Dreddpiratebob Streeter: Max. You have made a bad thing and I will remember it
Philip Underwood waves to Rory
Ceejay Writer: Yes! You can buy Max’s creation for zero lindens. We’re putting it out now so you can wield, er, admire, the gift during salon.
Mavromichali Szondi: very nize
Elleon Bergamasco: ingenious
Ceejay Writer: And everyone… be sure to welcome Max and Rustica to New Babbage. 😀
Maxwell Graf: …HOLA!!…
Sophie Cloud applauds
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: no it’s not. it’s plain wrong!
Elleon Bergamasco: and I see it has SIX prongs!
Maxwell Graf: Yesah!
Mavromichali Szondi: six!
Ceejay Writer looks at the Baron. “Should we start?”
Dreddpiratebob Streeter adds Max to the list
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Certainly, Fraulein.
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Have at it.

Prongs! Moderator (photo by Baron Klaus Wulfenbach)

Ceejay Writer: Good afternoon, and welcome to February’s Aether Salon! Hopefully you’ve recently survived the annual arrow attack by a small cherub with an unlicensed bow (someone should catch that mongrel and jail him).
Mavromichali Szondi: it vos terrifyink
Vic Mornington: 😀 lol
Ceejay Writer: But if you thought the danger from pointy objects was over, you’re in for a threat, er, I mean a treat. Our speaker today… is YOU. All of you. Anyone who’s ever used a fork should stand ready to defend their implement’s style. If there’s anyone here who has NOT used a fork, I suppose your forkless lifestyle is up for debate as well.
Ceejay Writer: Here are the Rules of Engagement:
Mavromichali Szondi pulls out a different fork and finds three prongs
Ceejay Writer: 1. For ease and clarity, let’s define the various fork types as thus: No-Prongs One-Prong, Two-Prongs, Three-Prongs, Four-Prongs, Five-Prongs, Six-Prongs – anything above THAT clearly is a comb and belongs on the dressing table, not the dinner table.
Mavromichali Szondi: heh
Ceejay Writer: 2. When the debate seems to be winding down, I’ll call for a vote. Call out your favorite prong-style. Please don’t IM me privately with your vote, as I’ll be using the local chatlog to tally.
Wildstar Beaumont: 🙂
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: hardly any of them are forks!
Mavromichali Szondi checks his laundry forks and counts 2
Ceejay Writer: 3. What could possibly go wrong?
Sophie Cloud: The Great Prong Debate of 2022
Ceejay Writer: And that’s it! Any questions before we begin?
Wildstar Beaumont looks around for Mr. Biggins
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: I have a question!
Ceejay Writer: Oh gawd. Yes, Bob?
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: What’s in that blue medicine you were sneaking round the back?
Mavromichali Szondi: Mr Biggins hed a nasty inflammation brought on by de arrival ov all de greenery in Rustica
Ceejay Writer: Anti-Urchin Elixer.
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: bah
Maxwell Graf: Pollen is your friend.
Elleon Bergamasco: Do pitchforks count?
Mavromichali Szondi: ho yah
Mavromichali Szondi: dose iz de best fork!
Ceejay Writer: Elleon…. do you want them to? Make a case for it!
Ceejay Writer: Okay.
Ceejay Writer: Ready.
Mavromichali Szondi: except vhen hyu iz runnink avay
Maxwell Graf: only if they have many prongs.
Ceejay Writer: Steady.
Ceejay Writer: GO.
Rory Torrance: Ahem, if i may, I would like to point out that the correct word is “tine”, as any blunt protrusion can be a ‘prong’ but a tine is a pointed prong, and a fork generally needs the little stabby-stabby bits that make the difference.
Sophie Cloud: what is the weight limit for forks?
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: SO! People and idiots of Babbage. I put it to you that Four Prongs is the way of Truth and Right and Being Brilliant and everything else is stupid and now we can all go home. huzzah!

He’s Little, But He Smells Big – DreddPirateBob Streeter photo by Rory Torrance

Mavromichali Szondi: Yah hy made a vote for tines earlier
Ceejay Writer: And Rory gets the first statement in!
Maxwell Graf: No one said anything about weight.
Maxwell Graf: wait weight.
Sophie Cloud grins
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: Prings!
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: Prongs
Maxwell Graf: sprongs, thank you.
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: prangs?
Ceejay Writer eats a Pringle
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: bing bang bong
Mavromichali Szondi: hy submit Exhibit B – laundry forks
Ceejay Writer: What the heck is a laundry fork?
Mavromichali Szondi: iz a simpler instrument than de three pronged dolly
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Well said, Herr Torrance. Similar to the confusion between sprockets and cogs in usage.
Mavromichali Szondi: they heff 2 prongs (non pointy)
Ceejay Writer: That sounds like a tuning fork.

Ceejay Writer and two signs: One welcome, one *not*. Photo by Baron Klaus Wulfenbach

Dreddpiratebob Streeter: The Four Prongians amongst you will agree that the symmetry and pure effectiveness of the Four Prong design has been proven over and over again
Elleon Bergamasco: I find it funny how many people will refuse to eat with a 3 prong fork… or alternately people who refuse to use a fork with an even number of tines…
Rory Torrance: Silly humans.
Elleon Bergamasco: They are fine with 3 or 5, but refuse to use a four prong fork…
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: Because three prongs is for the feeble minded!
Maxwell Graf: One can, as the last hundred or so years has illustrated, debate the merits of this or that device all day. However, as a utensil it seems fitting that engineering and functionality should take president over any aesthetic characteristics! It is therefore a simple matter of which has the most functionality. Clearly, the Gabel Brute excels in this regard.
Ceejay Writer: Four is a death-number in some cultures, and three is a good-luck number. Does this play into cutlery?
Sophie Cloud: does that infer the expression ‘shoveling it in’ refers better to four prongs or three prongs?
Mavromichali Szondi: Death cutlery…. hmm zo de fork iz as dangerous as de knife?
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: Well you’re just proving my point! The Death Fork sounds brilliant!
Ceejay Writer: I suppose death by fork is possible.

Ada Lovelace Looks Down in Pity on Salon. Photo by Baron Klaus Wulfenbach

Rory Torrance: So then the 3 tined fork does have a use among the feeble minded!
Elleon Bergamasco: Ohhh and some see the 3 pronged fork as satanic (as if cutlery has religion… )
Ceejay Writer: I should experiment. Come here, Bob.
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: It is if you side with the Three-Prongians
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: I’ve got me fork-proof undies on
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Death by fork is indeed possible, and rather messy.
Mavromichali Szondi: vot about Tridents?
Rory Torrance: The number four has mystical significance for american indians, but 3 is meaningful to christians. buddhists might prefer the 8-fold fork…
Mavromichali Szondi: Doez Neptune’s Trident count as a fork?
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: NO
Rory Torrance: it does!
Ceejay Writer: Tridents – possibly good for seafood?
Sophie Cloud goes back to drawing up building plans for a new smelter
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: its a TRIDENT
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: I would put forth that the three-tined fork tends to be used for more delicate food items.
Rory Torrance: technically Bob’s got us on that one
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: girl cake
Ceejay Writer: TRI = Three DENT = um, dented?
Maxwell Graf: If the merit of flatware is truly in the design and the eye rather than the hand, I submit again that the fork blossom of 6 tines is preferable, having similarity to a flower.
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: its too many prongs max!
Maxwell Graf: for some, clearly.
Elleon Bergamasco: do the extra tines mean more dish washing I wonder…
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: You rock up with your fancy castle and then BETRAYOR start harping on about flowers like you’re ceejay or smelleon ot tenk
Mavromichali Szondi: doez de bowl to tines ratio have an effect?
Ceejay Writer: The problem isn’t the prongs, but the splay-age of them. Getting that in and out of a mouth could be painful.
Elleon Bergamasco: Tenk does NOT like flowers, I’d like to point out. As I well know…
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: he’s been banging on about greenhouses for days
Mavromichali Szondi: perheps he’s ill
Elleon Bergamasco: Oh well, probably because that would keep the flowers and greenery contained in a nice neat box
Ceejay Writer: Did you know you can make an adorable plant marker with a fork and a small card?
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Who among us have ever been chased with pitchforks and torches by an angry mob fearful of Abominations of Science?
Maxwell Graf: I am still pumping out the oubliette which filled with water during the move.
Ceejay Writer: Was anyone in the oubliette at the time, Max?
Maxwell Graf: no, but my cigars are ruined.
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: you don’t use forks in gardening! you use shovels and hammers and stuff i think
Ceejay Writer: Awww. Terrible!
Ceejay Writer: And pitchforks! And there will be garden snakes with forked tongues!
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: Thats an idea Baron. I know someone in a castle that needs a proper pitchforking
Rory Torrance: Ironically, pitchforks are useless for shovelling pitch.
Ceejay Writer: Rory – huh. Good point.
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: ‘Pitch’ is what they do – a verb, in this case.
Rory Torrance: But honestly, I must say, I don’t understand why this must be a problem. Must we submit some sort of Cutlery Fascism, where all comply with a dictated standard? Maybe a 4 tined fork is best for certain purposes and a 3 or 5-tined fork for others. Frankly I dream of a land in which utensils are free to fork or indeed UNfork any way they want, from simple one-tined implements to the billion-tined forks of the gods themselves!
Thank you.
Ceejay Writer: A land we can encourage people to fork off to!
Rory Torrance: Exactically, Ms Writer
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: pitching fork then
Mavromichali Szondi: Exhibit C – a metallic spork
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: NO COMPROMISE!
Mavromichali Szondi: note de short tines to bowl ratio!
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: Until the Three Prong heretics are wiped off this earth we can have no peace

Bob’s going back to school. Tomorrow. Photo by Rory Torrance

Elleon Bergamasco: funny… for all your fork opinions Bob, I’m fairly certain I’ve only ever seen you eat with your hands…
Maxwell Graf: ha
Liz Wilner: lol
Ceejay Writer raises an eyebrow in admiration at Elleon
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: well cutlery slows the whole business down
Elleon Bergamasco: so… what exactly do you do with your for prong fork…
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Excellent point.
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Three or four points, actually.
Maxwell Graf: or even 6
Ceejay Writer: Or two.
Ceejay Writer: Maybe five.
Ceejay Writer: One?
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: but I have had forks! they can be worth a few quid
Mavromichali Szondi: Does age heff an impact?
Rory Torrance: if it only has one prong, ceej, it doesnt fork at all!
Mavromichali Szondi: It looks lek my older forks heff 3 tines. undt new vuns heff 4?
Rory Torrance: That’s progress for ya!
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: FOUR! It’s the only option! why are you not seeing this?
Ceejay Writer: Rory – perhaps a one prong fork is a chopstick
Rory Torrance: it IS!
Rory Torrance: or a skewer.
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: its a metal stick
Ceejay Writer: But you need a pair of them, so they are a total of two.
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: so its not even a stick
Maxwell Graf: Will no one even try my device? It can even strain meatballs from soup!
Elleon Bergamasco: so you are basically hoping we will all show what forks we have, so you know which of us has sterling plate and which ones are worth your ‘appropriating’ them for monetary gain?
Maxwell Graf: Its progressive!
Ceejay Writer: I think you can unpack boxes on the Academy side.
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: i shall not sully my hands with your device you FIEND
Mavromichali Szondi looks at hiz pile ov forks
Maxwell Graf: no box to unpack
Rory Torrance: I’ll try it! I love to have crazy stuff to play with. Should be handy in a street fight too.
Ceejay Writer: Those laundry forks are rather elegant
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Rezzing is cranky here.
Mavromichali Szondi: Hy em afraid dot hy em goink to heff to be pragmatic undt say that if there iz a bug pie sitting there on de table, hy em goink to grab any fork regardless of prong/tine count
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Is a two-tined fork a fork or a pick?
Rustica – Gebalblute (Fork Blossom) WEAR ME: whispers: Paddle activated. Type ‘paddle release’ to release controls
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: One prong is a skewer and is used by brutes who BBQ
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: Two prongs is basically scissors
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Herr General, I am surprised you would stop for implements.
Rory Torrance: Sirrah, I shall not hear a word said against BBQ!
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: Three Prongs well thats just lunacy
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: FOUR FOUR FOUR
Ceejay Writer: Scissors are hinged!
Mavromichali Szondi: Ve heff learned Manners, hyu Baron-y-ness
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: more than you are
Sophie Cloud: oh, my, we are venturing into cooking and cutlery now!
Elleon Bergamasco: goodness, this is big enough to skewer a small child with…
Vic Mornington: 😮
Liz Wilner side eyes Max…as he waves that giant thing around near me
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: We do not promote the cooking and eating of children here.
Mavromichali Szondi: mm plisz do that outside
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: we don’t? I thought that was were everyone kept going to
Mavromichali Szondi: hy heff to clean de floors othervise
Maxwell Graf: if you have the device in hand, simply click on anything or anyone
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: HAH!
Rory Torrance: you make them eat their children raw?
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: ((that’s actually genius max))
Sophie Cloud gets out her gun!
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Herr Graf, when did you take up self-flagellation?
Vic Mornington: LOL
Ceejay Writer: It’s a wonder Max isn’t blind
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach coughs
Rory Torrance falls out of his chair
Maxwell Graf: That’s a common myth, the you will go blind thing.
Maxwell Graf: just saying.
Wildstar Beaumont: LOL
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: If you stick forks in your eyes, it is rather inevitable.
Mavromichali Szondi: not if hyu stabs hyuself in de eyes vit wavink it about
Liz Wilner: except if you accidentally swing that thing onto my eye!
Liz Wilner: LOL
Mavromichali Szondi: yah execktly
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Long years of training together, Herr General.
Mavromichali Szondi: ve iz all on de same wavelength hier
Elleon Bergamasco: paddle release
Rustica – Gebalblute (Fork Blossom) WEAR ME: whispers: Controls released. Say ‘paddle engage’ to reactivate.
Ceejay Writer: All I as is that you not throw them. Because we don’t give a flying fork
Elleon Bergamasco: paddle engage
Rustica – Gebalblute (Fork Blossom) WEAR ME: whispers: Paddle activated. Type ‘paddle release’ to release controls
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: honestly. ..they’ve gone off the rails again. It’s like herding cats. no wonder Tenks has that squint
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach raises an ironic eyebrow
Rory Torrance: i hear he has several
Elleon Bergamasco: now he twitches..
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: can we all please come back to the main point of the evening? Let’s just all agree that I am right and the best and then we’ll take Max out to the castle and burn him and it down
Ceejay Writer votes NO on that
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Remember the old days, General?
Maxwell Graf: Thank you, Madame Bergamasco, for doing me the courtesy of at least consider the device for a moment. It is clear there is still kindness to strangers here.
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: everyone? yes? bit of a bonfire and some justice?
Elleon Bergamasco: the main point is that chopsticks are a far more useful implement
Mavromichali Szondi: Hy do lek a goot fire
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: WHAT?
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: chopsticks are posh kindling
Ceejay Writer: I plan to run through the streets later with Max’s fork, seeing what I can spear
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: you eat with logs do you smelleon?
Mavromichali Szondi: De old days or de really really oldt days?
Rory Torrance: too useful. never let anyone sneak up on you with a chopstick…
Elleon Bergamasco: no, I’m just able to skillfully manipulate them. Or use them to hold my hair up. Which can you make faster chopsticks or a fork?
Mavromichali Szondi: hy mean some ov de heterodynes couldt do very interesting tinks vit any type ov fork. Vell, interesting for them
Wildstar Beaumont was at a medieval dinner in a German castle once .. perfectly happy to do everything with fingers and a big knife 😉
Ceejay Writer: Did you end the meal with the same number of fingers you started with?
Liz Wilner: one hopes
Wildstar Beaumont: despite the strong liquor served, I did 🙂
Ceejay Writer: Hopefully Max’s castle will provide similar hospitality
Wildstar Beaumont skips details about the laxative properties of that liquor

Wanted: Urchins to wash Salon building for a hot meal. See the Baron. Photo by Rory Torrance

Rustica – Gebalblute (Fork Blossom) WEAR ME: whispers: Paddle activated. Type ‘paddle release’ to release controls
Ceejay Writer: O.o
Mavromichali Szondi: there iz a problem vit de 4 prong fork
Liz Wilner: !
Ceejay Writer: What’s wrong with the death-fork, I mean four-pronger?
Mavromichali Szondi: iz too vide to gets into pickink out de claw or tail meat on lobster undt soch like
Rory Torrance: it can be so embarrassing to find yourself with extra fingers when you get home from a dinner…
Mavromichali Szondi: undt usink vun on a shrimp cocktail – may as vell jest bludgeon it
Liz Wilner: lol
Ceejay Writer: Hammers for crabs. Works a treat.
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: right. this thing of maxs while NOT a fork is pretty good for slashing
Elleon Bergamasco: or washing in as a spoon in a pinch
Mavromichali Szondi: also if I may mention de Pommesgabel
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: I was not around yet for the really old days, of course.
Mavromichali Szondi: hyu heff to eat chips vit those
Ceejay Writer: Bob, don’t run with that thing!
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: i’ll do what I like
Mavromichali Szondi: kennot heff more then 2 or 3 prongs for a chip
Maxwell Graf: Horsehockey
Mavromichali Szondi: iz not de done tink!
Ceejay Writer: I think the more prongs the better! Keep the food on the fork more securely.
Liz Wilner nods
Mavromichali Szondi: hyu vould spear de chip.. too many holes.. ruin de integrity.. undt hyu chip vould fall apart into hyu gravy
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: but more than four and its basically a masher
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: a rake!
Ceejay Writer: A comb.
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: you eat with a rake do you ceejay?
Mavromichali Szondi: zo.. hy suggest dot heffink 4 tines ken be dangerous for certain foods’ integrity!
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: comb with your soup ma’am?
Maxwell Graf: he said, holding a four prong rake
Ceejay Writer: Well, not since Tinus left town, ba-da-bump
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Chips would be good right now.
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: THIS IS A FROK
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: ((fffffssss…))
Maxwell Graf: your coat?
Vic Mornington: you wear frocks now Bob?
Maxwell Graf: what about it
Mavromichali Szondi: hyu could spear de item, it falls apart from all de holes.. it falls into hyu soup vhich splashes de Duchess vit hot red tomatoes.. undt then hyu gets beheaded!
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: FORK FORK FORK
Vic Mornington: LOL
Ceejay Writer: Tourette’s again, Bob?
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Beheading is so inconvenient… very hard to repair.
Elleon Bergamasco: so Bob-you are saying if there was a lovely 5 layer chocolate cake in front of you, but you could only have it if you ate it with a 3 or 5 prong fork, you would NOT eat the cake?
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: It’s not a threek is it
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: knife threek and spoon
Ceejay Writer: If you get beheaded, you never need a fork again! Problem solved.
Vic Mornington: he would bury his face in it Elleon
Mavromichali Szondi: also forks vit 4 tines iz mainly really for scoopink und collectink rather than spearink
Mavromichali Szondi: De Roman forks hed 2 or 3 tines
Elleon Bergamasco laughs at the mental image
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: i’d use my hands. we JUST discussed this! are you dementing old lady?
Mavromichali Szondi: undt they really understood pointy tinks!
Sophie Cloud: if he eats it with a 3 or 4 tined fork, how much longer will the cake last using the 3 compared to the 4
Maxwell Graf: One could fairly argue that the measure of the sophistication of a society is the degree to which they have advanced their tools, which is to say, the dining tools were no exception. As time progressed we went from sticks to spears to knives to fork.
Maxwell Graf: Now I propose we advance again.
Ceejay Writer: Sophie – that involves the Maths!
Maxwell Graf: science has offered us the way.
Sophie Cloud: yes!
Sophie Cloud: and experimentation!
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: and we perfected the fork and STAYED THERE and didn’t mess about with flipping spikey blossom things
Maxwell Graf: More tongs = more advanced civilization.
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: LIES
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: HERESY
Elleon Bergamasco: IF there was some giant ogre standing behind the cake ready to bonk you on the head if you use anything BUT a 5 prong fork… BOB… No cake?
Ceejay Writer: 4 minutes till we vote! Get your last digs in!
Mavromichali Szondi: but if hy spear de sausage vit 6 tines.. doez it affect de skin integrity .. does it fall undt become Bodenwurst?
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: why not pack in the cutlery and just suck soup out of a tube?
Ceejay Writer: That’s a straw, Bob.
Ceejay Writer: And this is not a strawman debate

Photo by Baron Klaus Wulfenbach

Mavromichali Szondi: Iz this advancement jest endangerink de integrity ov our food undt causing more mess?
Maxwell Graf: There will always be those who fear change. See how he rants and rails, falling to basic namecalling rather than debate based upon factual discourse.
Mavromichali Szondi: Shouldt be really be goink beck to 3 or efen 2 prongs?
Sophie Cloud: I vote for diversity
Maxwell Graf: I agree.
Maxwell Graf: There is room for change.
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: you probably think all technology is great and we should just jump in and while I completely agree we need to take into account that the ladies will want to use trains and then their bums will fall off
Elleon Bergamasco: 5 is just such an aesthetically pleasing number.
Maxwell Graf: How else are we to progress?
Ceejay Writer: And the room starts leaning liberal! Interesting.
Rory Torrance: you know my position!
Mavromichali Szondi: zo.. is lek shavink?
Mavromichali Szondi: iz 16 blades better?
Rory Torrance: so they say, and 256 even better!
Mavromichali Szondi: do ve needt to eat vit combs?
Maxwell Graf: perhaps no, yet should there not be (pardon the pun) room at the table for all?
Sophie Cloud: do we even eat? think about it
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: 16 individual blades in 16 different places is the best but not for eating
Ceejay Writer: Bob has never seen a comb.
Mavromichali Szondi: perheps de real answer iz a pointy stick
Mavromichali Szondi: it vorks for marshmallows
Ceejay Writer: Chopstick!
Rory Torrance: It usually is, MS
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: i have. i sold one of yours and bought a pet lizard off a lad in the Gut
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Herr General, the question of sausage depends whether you are at a table or a campfire.
Maxwell Graf: perhaps if Mr. Streeter had a comb with only 4 prongs, he would be more inclined to use such.
Mavromichali Szondi: ah dot iz a goot point Herr Baron
Ceejay Writer: Max….perhaps.
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: it was proper dead and had maggots and it’s brilliant
Elleon Bergamasco: doubtful..
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Context is important.
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: bit hard now tho
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Burning one’s fingers is inconvenient.
Mavromichali Szondi: hyu ken use it as a footstool
Ceejay Writer: Okay….. you lot ready to vote? Shout out your preferred number of prongs NOW.
Maxwell Graf: all of them!
Sophie Cloud: 3.14
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: FOUR FOUR FOUR FOUR
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: FOUR FOUR FOUR FOUR
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: FOUR FOUR FOUR FOUR
Elleon Bergamasco: FIVE
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: FOUR FOUR FOUR FOUR
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: shouts: FOUR FOUR FOUR FOUR
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: shouts: FOUR FOUR FOUR FOUR
Ceejay Writer: headdesk
Mavromichali Szondi: POINTY STICK
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: so yes. everyone says four and I win
Ceejay Writer: headpodium
Maxwell Graf: ALL TINES
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: For most situations: Four.
Maxwell Graf: All are welcome
Rory Torrance: INFINITE TINES!
Elleon Bergamasco: Just pass out the cake
Wildstar Beaumont: 2+2=2*2=2^2=4
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: FOUR
Elleon Bergamasco: we can all eat it with whatever we like
Ceejay Writer hums “let the good tines roll” while counting
Rory Torrance: i must admit i usually do use a 4-tine fork. but only for religious reasons.
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: as it should be
Ceejay Writer: Demmit, fours are winning.
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: shut up smelleon you dont get a vote
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: shouts: FOUR FOUR FOUR FOUR
Ceejay Writer: My vote is THREE
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: and that is why i hate you
Wildstar Beaumont: fishy
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach puts cake out for everyone
Ceejay Writer blows raspberry at Bob
Mavromichali Szondi: raspberry cake?
Maxwell Graf: lets see how my many tongs handle the cake
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Black Forest, of course.
Elleon Bergamasco: I do like how 3 can look-almost any odd number makes me happy
Mavromichali Szondi: zo.. iz ve eatink cake vit a fork or iz this time for a SPOON?
Ceejay Writer: We may need to repaint the salon walls later
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach squints at the walls, considering.
Ceejay Writer: RIGHT THEN. The conclusion of this salon is…
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: Everyone? Four? Yes? Good! Whats that? you think Ceejay is wrong and we should throw her in the canal?! well. I don’t see why not. good idea absolutely everyone
Ceejay Writer: Four-prongs. Or not.
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: FOUR FOUR FOUR FOUR
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: FOUR FOUR FOUR FOUR
Elleon Bergamasco: not exclusively
Mavromichali Szondi: Spoon
Ceejay Writer stabs Bob in the butt since he’s close by
Wildstar Beaumont: LOL
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: One uses which tools are available.
Ceejay Writer: Baron, I turn what’s left of your salon back over to you now!
Mavromichali Szondi: vell hy most say.. dot vos most edutainmental
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: FOUR PRONGIANS RULE THE WAVES
Elleon Bergamasco: passing the fork as it were?
Sophie Cloud checks her calendar, “and when is the storming of the castle?”
Rory Torrance: when BOB carries a fork, it has FIVE prongs…
Ceejay Writer: I’m forking it over
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: Thank you for coming and, before you go, I’d like to take this moment to announce I’ll be running for Pope in the next election or whatever it is they do
Mavromichali Szondi: Excellent
Elleon Bergamasco: why Pope?
Mavromichali Szondi: Heff you gots some goot smoke bombs?
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Perhaps we’ll have an old-fashioned pitchfork chase for Europa’s anniversary.
Mavromichali Szondi: ooh nize idea
Elleon Bergamasco: you’d definitely have to bathe if you are the Pope
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: I have many smoke bombs
Ceejay Writer: Splendid, Baron!
Mavromichali Szondi: jest mek sure hyu gots de right colour Bob
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: you should be offended but instead youre just offensive
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: I have no proper hostesses left, but I can manage running from an angry mob on my own.
Liz Wilner laughs
Mavromichali Szondi: lotz of prectice
Ceejay Writer: A skill we should all perfect.
Maxwell Graf: I should perhaps get a head start on the mob
Wildstar Beaumont: 🙂
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: help yourself to cake and tea because i din’t buy it
Mavromichali Szondi: probably
Maxwell Graf: thank you for letting me attend.
Maxwell Graf: 😀
Ceejay Writer: Thanks for everything today, Max! Love your fork blossom!
Maxwell Graf: and the welcome to the neighborhood.
Rory Torrance: luvly cake there
Elleon Bergamasco: thank you for not running away screaming
Ceejay Writer: We do this every third Sunday of the month.
Ceejay Writer: Usually it’s more polite.
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Unless disaster strikes, of course.
Ceejay Writer: What could possibly go wrong?
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: you’re not actually terrible at this Ceejay. you didn’t pass out drunk even once and that’s really impressive
Elleon Bergamasco: plus there is usually cake
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: not like Tall Tales. wow.
Ceejay Writer: Bob…. I learned how to do that and stay standing. Its a gift.
Maxwell Graf: Have a wonderful evening all.
Philip Underwood waves bye
Ceejay Writer: Goodnight, Max!
Maxwell Graf: Be welcome at Rustica.
Mavromichali Szondi: goot huntink all
Ceejay Writer: Yes, go explore the castle, everyone.

Future Salon Topic: Paint Removing For Beginners. Photo by Baron Klaus Wulfenbach

Dreddpiratebob Streeter: i have never been to one of these thats been polite! it always end up with people being insulting
Maxwell Graf: That should tell you something
Rory Torrance: Besides, I’ve been standing by so that if necessary I can pass out FOR her.
Ceejay Writer snickers
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: see ya later Max!
Ceejay Writer: Aw, Rory, such a good friend.
Maxwell Graf: …HOLA!!…
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: you’re a hero Rory
Rory Torrance: and modest too!
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach has Angry Mob Kits ready for packaging.
Mavromichali Szondi: very hendy
Elleon Bergamasco: I think I shall go display this grand fork in the pub
Ceejay Writer: Going to tidy up the stage if everyone’s grabbed their gift?
Elleon Bergamasco: thank you again Mr Graf
Mavromichali Szondi: yah
Rory Torrance: i must go and unpack MY fork
Ceejay Writer: SOMEone tell Tenk to get his coal from Christmastime.
Maxwell Graf: Most welcome!
Mavromichali Szondi: goot night all
Rory Torrance: And congratulations, mister Graf, on a wonderful invention
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: I thought to leave it for good fortune, or urchins’ fires.
Wildstar Beaumont: good night everyone … this has been a cool Salon 🙂
Ceejay Writer: Baron… that’s a nice thought, actually.
Elleon Bergamasco: I think it’s what Bob used to make his sign…
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: I used to leave large cartons in the alley, too.
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach grins
Ceejay Writer: NOW BOB…. are you going to scrub all that graffiti off the walls?
Liz Wilner: I must dash as well…goodnight everyone! don’t “prong” yourselves!
Ceejay Writer: Goodnight Liz!
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Is that banner going to leave grease stains on the paint?
Sophie Cloud: Goodnight, everyone!
Liz Wilner waves and relocates
Elleon Bergamasco: thanks all, have a great rest of your day or night
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Gute Nacht, Duchess.
Ceejay Writer: Baron…. most likely.
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Red fire!
Rory Torrance: evening all!
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Gute Nacht.
Dreddpiratebob Streeter: right I’m also off as I shall return to my lass who has been cheering me on. .thanks for the laugh! I WON
Ceejay Writer: Actually I quite like the sign Bob’s been holding.
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach chuckles
Ceejay Writer: Hee. Tell her hi from me!
Ceejay Writer: Okay, I’m zooming off – hope the rest of your day goes well, Baron!

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