Unedited Transcripts

Flirting! with Selena Anansi (Unedited)

Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: All right, we look fairly well settled.
Stereo Nacht: Good day Mr. Branagh!
Bookworm Hienrichs: Welcome to this month’s Aether Salon! Today, Selena Anansi of Winterfell will extend the Valentine’s season, and regale us with the gentle art of flirting.
Bookworm Hienrichs: Before we proceed, some housekeeping reminders:
Bookworm Hienrichs: 1) To ensure you can hear the speaker, stand or sit on the patterned carpet.
Bookworm Hienrichs: 2) If you do not have a wearable chair and wish one, please contact Baron Wulfenbach.
Bookworm Hienrichs: 3) Please remove all lag-feeding whatevers you might be wearing.
Bookworm Hienrichs: 4) A tip jar is out for our speaker. Do please show your appreciation!
Bookworm Hienrichs: 5) Any tips to help support the establishment will also be welcome – just click on one of the support signs!
Bookworm Hienrichs: 6) If you’re not a member of the AEther Salon group, there are signs that will let you sign up. You’ll be most heartily welcome!
Bookworm Hienrichs: 7) Edited and unedited transcripts of these proceedings will be posted at aethersalon.blogspot.com.
Bookworm Hienrichs grins as most people get the glazed-eye look of experienced air travelers.
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach chuckles
Bookworm Hienrichs: And now, to introduce our speaker, here is Baron Klaus Wulfenbach.
TrolleyTrollop che=ks under her seat for the flotation device.
Stereo Nacht: You mean Aether-travelers! 😉
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Welcome, everyone. We are honoured today to have Selena Anansi, Princess of Winterfell, who despite her title is a shy and unpretentious young woman. She comes from a land of shadows and magic, quite unlike New Babbage. Bitte, treat her gently.
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach applauds
Myrtil Igaly applauds
Bookworm Hienrichs applauds.
TrolleyTrollop puts her fingers in the corners of her mouth and whistles in appreciation.
Elilka Sieyes claps
Podruly Peccable aplauds
Jimmy Branagh: YY!
Jimmy Branagh applauds
Selena: Thank you, Herr Baron for your kind introduction.
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach nods
Erehwon ululates
Selena: Good Afternoon, everyone.
TrolleyTrollop opens up her pocket dictionary and sounds out “ululates”
Selena: About 6 months ago I came across someone complaining that these days being polite has become so rare that people mistake it for flirting.
Selena: I wondered why my flirting was taken as being polite and determined that I was obviously doing something wrong,
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach chuckles
Selena: Being a young lady in the steamlands, I felt it was my duty to learn the difference and save myself much embarrassment.
Selena: So, what exactly is flirting?
Selena: I simply needed to know, so I set off to research and learn what flirting was and here I am today to present you with my findings.
Selena: My father is a librarian so I knew the first place to look was a dictionary and I was not surprised with what i found, and most dictionaries had the same thing to say:
Selena: To flirt, the verb, is to behave in a way that shows a sexual attraction for someone but is not meant to be taken seriously
Selena: A flirt, the noun, is a person who enjoys flirting with other people
Selena: ((obviously))
Bookworm Hienrichs chuckles.
Selena: Great, but what about the history of the word?
Selena: I was slightly unsettled when I consulted the Oxford English Dictionary for etymology of the word flirt
Selena: I found a much less flattering take on the word.
TrolleyTrollop thinks Mama would think it’s real good that Trolley’s learning this stuff.
Selena: It seems that beginning around 1577 the word “flirt” was generally not a pretty or lighthearted term
Selena: It was often coupled with words like hussy, slut and women of loose character. needless to say, to call someone a flirt was not a kindly act.
Selena: Obviously over time, as with many things, the opinion of flirts and flirting has changed.
Selena: Nowadays, being called a flirt isn’t as derogatory a term as it started out being
Selena: in fact, some professionals believe that continued flirting after a relationship has progressed into something steady and permanent is an important ingredient to a happy and long lasting relationship.
Nika Thought-werk takes notes.
Selena: So let me ask you to think about this: is flirting a natural inherent fact of our existence or is it a learned skill of manipulation?
Jedburgh Dagger: Yes
Selena: I believe, and have learned that it is both.
Selena: There are some parts of flirting that we simply can not, without practice, avoid.
Selena: The blush, sweaty palms, heart racing, light headedness
Selena: or the suddenly clumsy can’t think or speak moment when we first encounter someone we are attracted to.
Satu Moreau giggles
TrolleyTrollop: my daddy says lil girls come out of their mamas knowing how to twist their menfolk ’round their fingers.
Annechen Löwey: Not quite.
Selena chuckles at Miss Trollop
Selena: Some people can pick up on those subtle signs in others,
Selena: but most of the time it is up to us to recognize our own attraction and begin the actual flirting dance.
Voxel personally loves the subtle, half-concealed blush.
Selena: Recently I read a wonderful book by Gail Carriger called Curtsies and Conspiracies
Selena: (published in November of 2013 by Little Brown and Company a division of Hachette Book Group)
Selena: where the main character, Sophronia, is just starting to come into the early stages of her womanhood.
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Disclosure: Not a sponsor of this Salon.
Bookworm Hienrichs chuckles.
Nika Thought-werk smiles.
Jimmy Branagh chuckles
Selena: She is puzzled by her new reactions to being close to one of her male friends.
Selena: In a scene not unlike many previous scenes,
Selena: Sophronia is in close quarters with her friend Soap.
Selena: Soap is a “sootie”, one of the young people who are in charge of the under workings of the dirigible school
Selena: and one of Sophronia’s true friends and allies.
Selena: In this scene, Soap is feeling territorial because Sophronia just admitted to having some problems with another boy on the ship.
Selena picks up the book and reads
Selena: “You need me to teach him any lessons? A little boxing ‘round the ears?”
Selena: “That’s very kind, Soap, but I can fight my own battles”
Selena: “I don’t like you fraternizing with boys, Ain’t normal.”
Selena: Sophronia quirked her head in amusement. “No? And here I was thinking that’s how society worked. Might as well learn the way of it.”
Selena: “Oh, you believe so?” Soap leaned in.
Selena: Even though she stood on the on the first step, the sootie towered over her.
Selena: He smelled of wet coal and engine oil. It must have been quite strong, as it seemed to be affecting her breathing.
Selena: He leaned in, his normally cheerful face quite serious. “I could teach you a bit.”
Selena looks up and over the assembly of people with sparkling eyes and a smile and asks
Selena: Soap is flirting with Sophronia, yes?
Erehwon nods.
Selena: And if Soap is observant he would pick up on the fact that his friend is reacting to his proximity.
Selena: This I believe is part of the unconscious flirting, and poor Sophronia has no clue as of yet.
TrolleyTrollop: maybe his mama wash his mouth out with some, too.
Selena: But Soap is observant and he does notice her breathing change and he presses on to another part of flirting.
Selena returns to the book and reads a bit more.
Selena: He was so close, Sophronia thought for one delusional moment that he intended to kiss her on the mouth!
Selena: Instead he reached for her arm, the exposed piece between glove and sleeve where his filthy hand would not soil her dress.
Selena: He raised it to his face and kissed her just there, his lips impossibly soft.
Selena fans herself with the book and then puts it down and returns her attention to the group.
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach chuckles
Toubanua T’Kreth: 🙂
Bookworm Hienrichs grins.
Selena: Poor Sophronia.
Podruly Peccable grins
Selena: She is overcome with a flood of thoughts of complicated friendships and quickly withdraws from the situation,
Selena: nearly tripping on the stairs as she leaves.
Selena: She is normally rather agile, so she puzzled with her sudden clumsiness.
Selena: I think this is a wonderful example of young lady who is being trained in the arts of espionage and deceptions first brush with REAL flirting and experiencing her own involuntary physical reactions to being so close to someone she has chemistry with.
Erehwon: oh dear, feelings and all that skullduggery are not a good match.
Selena: That at the moment of attraction, that split second when we encounter a creature of attraction
Selena: our brains stop and our bodies take over and we can’t think.
Selena: Our bodies take over, we blush, we get sweaty palms, butterflies in our stomachs,
Selena: we get giddy and we can’t put two rational thoughts together.
Selena: Dr Antonio Damasio, medical doctor, professor and head of neurology at the University of Iowa
Selena: has made a connection between what happens to our brains in that moment of attraction and the brains of people with certain kinds of brain damage.
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Aha.
Selena: We suspend intellect at least long enough to propel us to the next step in the mating game-flirtation.
Selena: That is all well and good, but why flirt at all?
Stereo Nacht: (Now you got the Baron’s interest, Princess! X- D)
Selena: Why go the extra mile play the game of flirting past the obvious physical signs of attraction?
Selena: Evolutionary Psychologist, Steven W. Gangestad, Ph.D., of The University of New Mexico
Selena: has concluded that flirting is the quickest and safest way to determine compatibility with out “going all the way”
Selena: and chancing a poor mating match and therefore a part of our evolutionary growth and genetic survival.
Selena: As with animals in the wild to simply announce
Selena: “I am attracted to you, are you attracted to me? Let’s get together?” leaves us vulnerable and that simply will not do.
Selena: Flirting offers a relatively risk free set of actions that allow us to test the waters and gather information about potential mates.
Selena: Dr Gangestad says “Flirting is a negotiation process that takes place after there has been some initial attraction,”
Annechen Löwey: “Relatively.”
Selena nods to Frau Lowey “relatively”
Selena smiles
Cray Juliesse: Huh. I guess people like me aren’t good for evolution. grins
Satu Moreau: Heh
TrolleyTrollop nods her head…thinking about the time she almost got tripped up with “relatively”
Victorian Magic: Cray fish Cray cpmputers
Selena: He goes on to say “It works much better to reveal this and have it revealed to you in smaller doses,”
Selena: “The flirting then becomes something that enhances the attraction.”
Selena: Well, alright then!
Selena: Flirting is an important part of courting and a skill I needed to work on.
Selena: Next big question was: HOW does one flirt?
Selena: In my research I came across a gentleman by the name of Irenaus Eibl-Eibesfeldt.
Voxel calls baloney that the Princess needed to work on flirting.
Selena eyes Mr Voxel and sticks our her tongue at him
Toubanua T’Kreth: One can always improve
Satu Moreau giggles
Selena: Back to Mr Irenaus Eibl-Eibesfeldt. …
Selena: In his studies nearly 30 years ago, he found that women, regardless of culture, socioeconomic status, language or religion
Selena: all had an uncanny similarity in how they flirted.
Selena: Women would almost universally smile at a male,
Selena: then arch her brows to make her eyes wide and then quickly lowering her lids
TrolleyTrollop turns her head rapidly, thinking she’s seeing some flirting going on up close and personal like. Somebody likes that pretty Selena.
Selena: while tucking her chin slightly down and coyly to the side, averting her gaze, followed within seconds by putting her hands on or near her mouth and giggling.
Toubanua T’Kreth: That’s how my cat flirts with me.
Toubanua T’Kreth: The first part anyway
Selena: Before his study of women’s flirting habits, Mr Eibl-Eibesfeld was already familiar with the widespread dances and prances of mate-seeking animals.
Selena: For him, a woman presenting her extended neck to a man she wants is not much different, his work suggested,
Selena: than a gray female wolf’s submissiveness to a dominant male she’s after.
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: I thought that was a vampire thing.
Selena: I have to interject that as an independent woman, I find this observation a little less than flattering. But I pressed on in my research.
Nika Thought-werk eyes the Baron.
Satu Moreau giggles at the Baron
Voxel: No, more than just vampires enjoy the structure of the throat.
TrolleyTrollop eyes get big as saucers…
Jedburgh Dagger: Woof.
Satu Moreau: It’s submissive posture in animals.
Selena laughs
Selena clears her throat
TrolleyTrollop puts her hands to her neck to make sure that hickey she got ain’t showing.
Selena: decades later a couple of gentlemen doctors, one a social psychologist and anthropologist spent many months in the natural habitat of singles looking to find love; dimly lit hotel lounges.
Selena: They became very good at predicting who of the singles would pair up and head for the elevators.
Satu Moreau: Saucy!
Selena: Women smile, gaze, sway, giggle, lick their lips, and with the help of high heels and carefully assembled outfits,
Selena: they arch their backs, forcing their buttocks to tilt out and up and their chests to thrust forward.
Selena: All to advertise their ample equipment for childbirth.
Selena: The men arched, stretched, swiveled, and made grand gestures with their arms.
Stereo Nacht: (And child rearing, I guess…)
Selena: Their swaggers, grandiose gestures and bursts of laughter seeming to say “Look at me, trust me, I’m powerful, but I won’t hurt you.”
Toubanua T’Kreth seems to recall many female superheroes adopting flirtatious postures in combat.
Selena: All this is done while holding a conversation that could be quite tame and completely unrelated to the task at hand, small talk as it were.
Selena: Sprinkling the conversation with compliments.
Selena: It is important to avoid cliche pick up lines, as that could possibly foil all the primping and posturing done up to this point.
Selena: If both parties find each other pleasing enough, they would progress past talking and move on to touching.
Selena: Touching themselves to draw attention to their lips or bare arms.
Selena: Ladies playing with a tendril of hair to draw attention to their necks
TrolleyTrollop looks at her leopard skin stilettos with the pink roses and figures Mama would tell her to take ’em off.
Selena: or twirling a long necklace to tease the gentleman’s eyes lower to a demure (or not so demure) flash of cleavage.
Selena: Gentlemen playing with their pocket watches to show off how gentle and strong their hands are.
TrolleyTrollop takes her hands aways from her Mardi Gras beads.
Voxel: Well now I know why I play with my pocket watch in certain situations.
Selena: Both parties would then progress to what might be termed as “lint-picking” or a sort of mock grooming.
Toubanua T’Kreth grasps her pocket watch firmly and smirks subtly to those around her.
Selena: She may reach out and pick a mote of lint from his lapel
Jimmy Branagh: Nibblin’ on scalps loike?
Selena tries not to laughs and shushes Jimmy
Jimmy Branagh: Oy ‘eard gorillas do thet.
Erehwon thinks about a shorter cord for the key she keeps around her neck.
Selena: Either party may suddenly reach for something across from them and whoops! An “accidental” finger touch
Satu Moreau grins at Erehwon
Selena: an accidental finger touch that could lead to what I read one author refer to as digital “dirty dancing”.
Selena: Digital “dirty dancing” would be an intricate dance of fingers across palms and forearms.
TrolleyTrollop: or they spilled the ketchup on the tabletop reaching for a french fry.
Selena: Rather scandalous in some settings!
Selena: Fear not, there is a more discreet version of this hand play for when you are trying to keep up the face of propriety
Victorian Magic: typing in SL
Selena: and it, my friends, is called “playing footsie”
Toubanua T’Kreth nods, “Chopsticks”
Selena: A skilled purveyor of this art would slip their foot out of their shoe and touch the arch of the others foot or trace a toe up the ankle.
TrolleyTrollop: wearing them nice white cotton gloves.
Selena: One must be careful when trying this technique as it simply would not do to accost a potential mate with a sweaty foot!
Jimmy Branagh: Wot ifn they hot th’ wrong ankle?
TrolleyTrollop thinks to herself, some folks got mighty sweaty feet.
Erehwon this is where wearing flats provides an advantage, easy to slip on and off.
Jimmy Branagh: hit*
Myrtil Igaly: Ya gotta be careful that the drapes on the table are long enough though
Selena shudders at the thought of a sweaty foot
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Myrtil, what would you know about this?
Stereo Nacht: Cotton socks, people! And take your foot out of the shoe a few minutes before touching… Just saying! 😉
Jimmy Branagh: Sloidin’ a toe up th’ ankle of th’ local vicar could be problematic.
Selena: Another subtle and most acceptable way to further your flirting prospects in public is to dance with the object of your desire.
Victorian Magic: explains all the leftover greek statue feet they find
Myrtil Igaly: I dunno, just putting A + B!
TrolleyTrollop nods…they should put some cornstarch in their shoes if they gonna be playing footsie.
Victorian Magic: then some cokehead will lick it off
Voxel facepalms.
Selena: dancing…..
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Shhh.
TrolleyTrollop bite her lip to keep from laughing.
Satu Moreau snickers
Selena: I don’t mean the modern bump and grind kind of dancing.
Selena: Bump and grind dancing, to me at least, is well past flirting and well into the realm of foreplay.
Jedburgh Dagger: coughs
Selena: But that is not for todays discussion
Annechen Löwey mutters, “Very mainland.”
TrolleyTrollop: whooeee! the bump and grind kinda dancing get a gal in trouble real fast!
Selena: Dancing, real dancing, slow dancing is rather wonderful.
Erehwon: or the middle school “clutch and shuffle”
Selena: What could be more delicious than a strong hand upon a ladies back and perhaps a gentle trickle of fingertips across her shoulders?
TrolleyTrollop: box of chocolates be better.
Selena: Ladies can take advantage of some dances turns and spins as a way to “accidentally” bump and then cling to a gentlemans body for ever so slightly longer than actually needed.
Selena: Additionally some dances call for close proximity where a pair could easily whisper sweet things to each other.
TrolleyTrollop scribbles in her notebook….she’s got a lot to learn.
Erehwon: Trolley, I like how you are thinking, an “accidental” brush of hands as I hand someone their Mocha.
Jedburgh Dagger: Charming turns of phrase
Selena lets out a long sigh of satisfaction and smiles to her audience
Selena: The art of flirting is exciting and titillating,
Selena: but it is important to remember that not all flirting leads to making out or even “the deed”.
TrolleyTrollop smiles….Sister Cousin specializes in chocolate truffles. Makes ’em herself and say they work every time.
Selena: Remember that flirting is fun.
Victorian Magic: “Deed” in SL we rent , not own …… can’t do the deed
Erehwon: Oh, I may have to see if she can provide some for my coffee house.
TrolleyTrollop: but I think theis Princess has taught us real good. She’s pretty, too.
Selena: Focus on smiling, making eye contact and presenting your best self.
TrolleyTrollop you ask her and I bet she send you some.
Selena: If you find yourself in the room with someone you find attractive and you want to test the waters of flirting,
Selena: find something that feels natural to you. Start with something small and work your up as you gain confidence.
Selena: You can try some of these techniques:
Selena: Staging of “chance” encounters – make a point to be where the person you are interested in will be – find shared interests.
TrolleyTrollop puts a star by “present your best self.” That’s what mama said, too.
Toubanua T’Kreth tries to think of something that feels “natural” to her.
Selena: Eye contact, lower your lashes after a short gaze, batting eyelashes, staring, winking
Selena: Banter with them, chat and make conversation, be light hearted, tease gently
Myrtil Igaly: Staring can be a bit scary though
Selena: It can be, Myrtil… its an art, best practice
Selena: Girls, try your hand at coyness, affectedly shy or modest, marked by cute, coquettish, or artful playfulness
Selena: but remember not to be too sugary or childish
Selena: Move in slightly closer than a casual conversation may normally call for, lean in, show interest in what they have to say
Victorian Magic: Semi-sweet chocolate truffles and a double espresso
Toubanua T’Kreth thinks of Mary Pickford.
Selena: try out some protean signals, such as touching one’s hair or lips
Selena: Giggling and laughing encouragingly at any slight hint of intimacy in the other’s behavior
Stereo Nacht thinks “So that’s what I have been doing wrong!” 😛
Selena: remember to flatter them (regarding beauty, style, intellect, wit)
Selena: try casual touches, “accidental” bumping or lingering touches while dancing
Stereo Nacht: (The cute, coquettish thing; I don’t do sugary/childing anyway.)
Selena: Dare to try a round of footsie
Annechen Löwey: More difficult than it sounds.
Selena: remember that the lost art of sending notes, poems, or small gifts – let them know you are thinking of them
Victorian Magic: body brushes, bats eyelashes , murmurs “SO smart ” Bot replies “Welcome back to Rust Coffee Victorian”
Toubanua T’Kreth: I fear my shoes may be too complicated.
Selena: Sing them a song… dedicate a song and dance to them
Selena: But even after all that.
Erehwon: Toubanua, I must take you shopping for flats sometime.
Selena: Once you have all this under your belt and you feel that you are a pro at flirting….
Toubanua T’Kreth: 🙂
Selena: In all the reading I did, one womans memoir had one very helpful bit of advice that I will be sure to employ,
Selena: “always leave something on the table”
Selena: Meaning, try not to breeze through all the flirting in one encounter.
Selena: This is not to say you should tease or dally with the emotions of the object of your desire,
Victorian Magic: like in the Postman always …
TrolleyTrollop nods….ladies who eat everything on the table end up old maids.
Selena: but it can add a delicious level to flirting when you draw it out over several encounters.
Selena: Keep them interested
Selena: keep them wanting more
Jedburgh Dagger: Leave them wanting more
Selena: Always leave them wanting more
Erehwon: or leave the door open
Selena: And we have come to the conclusion of my presentation.
Stereo Nacht: Erm… Not a good idea… Robbers, you know… 😛
Selena: Thank you so much for coming and happy belated Valentines Day.
Bookworm Hienrichs applauds.
Jimmy Branagh applauds!
Toubanua T’Kreth applauds
Myrtil Igaly claps
Victorian Magic: Thank you !!
Podruly Peccable applauds
Jimmy Branagh: Yay!
Erehwon: Halaa, Princess Selena!
Voxel applauds!
Jimmy Branagh: Teh wos a good one!
Jimmy Branagh: Thet
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach applauds
Nika Thought-werk claps happily “Brava!”
Selena: Thank you all
TrolleyTrollop puts fingers in corners of her mouth and whistles
ElaraGloriana: Ty Selena 🙂 sound research ^^
Jimmy Branagh: Oy learned a lot!
Selena curtsies respectfully
Myrtil Igaly: You did?
TrolleyTrollop nods…Trolley learned enough to get that Robbie to take her out in his Edsel.
Nika Thought-werk: Mister Jimmy, you want to learn about flirting?”
Satu Moreau: Hehe
Jimmy Branagh: Yesh, don;t squint one oye and talk like a poyrate
Myrtil Igaly: hehehe
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: Bitte, if you might show Her Highness your appreciation, I will be picking up the tipjar soon.
Jimmy Branagh: “Wanna see me carbuncle, dearie!”
Nika Thought-werk blinks and smiles.
Jimmy Branagh chuckles
Satu Moreau: Haha, eww
Selena smiles and looks relieved
Toubanua T’Kreth puts her blue carbuncle back in her pocket.
Myrtil Igaly: Depends who you’re talking to I guess
Bookworm Hienrichs: Does anyone have any questions for our speaker?
Voxel was getting worried he would have to gag himself. “Excellent presentation, Princess.”
Toubanua T’Kreth: Well done, Princess 🙂
Selena: Thank you, all again. I was so nervous
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach: You did excellently.
Jimmy Branagh: No, thet wos great Princess!
Voxel nods in agreement.
Myrtil Igaly: That was very good!
Tal’Kesh nods, applauding, since he missed doing so before.
Zantabraxus: Wonderful talk, Princess.
Myrtil Igaly: A nice mix of scientific and own experience and book research
Zantabraxus smiles
Nika Thought-werk feels a bit queasy.
Myrtil Igaly: and the pace was perfect
Nika Thought-werk: Well done, Princess.
Selena smiles some more

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s